Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
