All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
