just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize