I bet he comes in French.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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