he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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