dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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