Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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