just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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