My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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