yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
