is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
