Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
