fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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