If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
