He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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