are you still at the devil's house?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Randomize
