That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
