It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
