No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
