Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He called his prostate his "boner button".
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
