I got her a Nickelback box set.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize