Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
