My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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