So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
cat food counts as protein by the way
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
