Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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