Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
