pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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