last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
