Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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