peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
