You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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