I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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