i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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