Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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