Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
