Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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