I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
