Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
