11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
