If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
