Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
