he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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