This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
