Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
