Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
