But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
