I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize