And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
