i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I want to fling myself into the sun
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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