Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
