I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
