I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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