Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
