I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
