Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize