I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
