This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
two words: eviction party
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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