yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
