the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
