he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
