If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
