Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
home. puking in laundry basket.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
