you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
