How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
