just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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