hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
