If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
