Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
