Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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