Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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