Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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