Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
