The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
