She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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